Rethinking Positive Thinking by Gabriele Oettingen challenges the fantastical idea that relentless positivity and optimism will always make things work out.
We’ve all been inundated by pop psychology bumper sticker quotes like:
”Manifest destiny. Visualize success. Believe in yourself.”
At face value, those are great quotes to reflect on in moments of doubt. However, they’re also symptomatic of a wider network of magical overthinking and toxic positivity.
Psychologist Gabriele Oettingen argues that positive thinking on its own is simply not enough to create meaningful growth in our lives.
In this novel, Oettingen draws on decades of research into motivation and goal-setting to illustrate where and when positive thinking is productive or destructive.
This is not at all to support cynicism or catastrophizing, which are serious cognitive distortions.
Oettingen offers a point of view that combines hopeful determination with a realistic assessment of the challenges ahead.
Here are five key takeaways from Rethinking Positive Thinking.
1. Imagining success isn’t the same as working toward it
Visualization can be a powerful strategy to inspire success and pursue the actions needed to achieve it. It feels great to imagine achieving a goal!
You get the promotion. You run the race. You launch the business. You have the conversation you’ve been avoiding.
For a fleeting moment, you get the satisfaction of achieving a desired outcome.
Positive fantasies offer some level of emotional payoff of success before we’ve actually done the work required to get there.
This is where motivation can get stuck. If you can’t translate the mental picture into tangible actions, that feel-good vibe hits a dead end and can create a cycle of disappointment.
Oettingen doesn’t discourage the power of having dreams. It’s just that the dream needs to be rooted in some sense of reality.
Instead of asking, “What would it be like if everything went perfectly?” ask, “What would I have to overcome to get there?”
That small shift turns positive thinking into something much more practical.
2. Visualize the destination and the roadblocks
This is the central idea behind Oettingen’s concept of mental contrasting.
Rather than spending all your time imagining a positive future, you deliberately contrast that future with the reality of your current situation.
Oettingen encourages people to look for the obstacles within themselves. It might be procrastination, anxiety, a habit, self-doubt, difficulty saying no or avoidant behaviour.
Identifying a personal obstacle in a compassionate way is productive. It does not have to be an exercise of negative self-talk.
For example, if you want to become more organized the problem is likely not “ I don’t have enough time.”
The more informative obstacle could be that you struggle with time management and procrastination.
The contrast between the future you want and the internal or external forces keeping you from it can create a more clear direction.
3. Breakdown big goals into smaller steps
Another important distinction in Oettingen’s approach is between a wish that is challenging and one that is completely unrealistic.
If a goal is too easy, it may not require much motivation. But if it is wildly out of reach, imagining it isn’t necessarily going to create a useful plan for getting there.
Oettingen’s WOOP method begins with a “Wish”: something meaningful that is difficult but feasible within a particular period of time.
That makes goal-setting a little different from simply making a grand New Year’s resolution.
Instead of: “I want to completely change my career.”
You might start with: “I want to identify three realistic career opportunities I could pursue this month.”
The refreshed goal gives you something you can actually act on. In this example, that could be enrolling in a course to learn the skills suited for a different line of work.
Sometimes making a goal smaller doesn’t make the ambition smaller. It makes the path clearer.
4. The best plan anticipates potential trouble
Knowing your obstacle is useful. Knowing what you’ll do when it appears is even better.
This is where Oettingen’s approach incorporates implementation intentions, which is essentially, creating an “if-then” plan.
The structure is simple formula: If an obstacle occurs, I will then respond by X, Y or Z.
For example:
- If I start procrastinating on an important task, then I will work on it for 10 minutes before doing anything else.
- If I feel nervous before a difficult conversation, then I will take a few minutes to collect my thoughts before responding.
- If I get distracted while working, then I will put my phone in another room for 30 minutes.
The important part is that the plan is created before the obstacle appears.
That matters because we tend to make different decisions when we’re calm and thinking ahead than when we’re already stressed.
Instead of relying on willpower in the moment, you’ve already decided what you’re going to do. Oettingen incorporates this planning step into WOOP’s final stage.
Of course, we can’t predict everything. Not everything is in our control. And sometimes, even when faced with a known hurdle, we may react differently than planned. That is okay!
It’s important to show compassion and understanding towards ourselves in those instances.
5. Optimism works best when blended with realism
Perhaps the biggest lesson from Rethinking Positive Thinking is that optimism and realism don’t have to compete with each other.
You can believe that something good is possible while also acknowledging that it will be difficult.
In fact, Oettingen’s approach suggests that the combination can be more useful than either one alone.
That’s the thinking behind WOOP:
W — Wish: What do I really want?
O — Outcome: What would be the best result?
O — Obstacle: What is most likely to stand in my way?
P — Plan: If that obstacle occurs, what will I do?
The method can be applied to anything from professional goals and relationships to health and everyday habits. Oettingen describes it as a practical way to turn wishes into concrete action rather than leaving them in the realm of fantasy.
The broader message is surprisingly simple: You don’t need to become less optimistic. You need to become more deliberate about what you do with your optimism.
Dream about where you want to go. Then take an honest look at what could stop you. Finally, decide what you’ll do when that obstacle appears.
Sometimes the most productive form of positive thinking is the kind that leaves you with a street-smart plan.
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